Re-entering Orbit

I've discovered that half the people would love to go into space and there's no need to explain it to them. The other half can't understand and I couldn't explain it to them. If someone doesn't know why, I can't explain it.

Sally Ride

Going to Alaska was like going into space; it’s cold, it’s beautiful, and not a lot of people do it.

Why did I go?

To quote myself: “Lost as I was, I spent time thinking about what excited me. What enthralled me. What sparked my inspiration.”

Things I’ve said to others:

• I couldn’t find a job locally.

• I needed to get out of my family’s sphere of influence.

• I needed to get out of my comfort zone.

• I needed to take some time to learn about myself.

• I wanted to return to a place that captivated me.

• It was where I needed to be.

Why did I come back?

I loved Alaska. I loved looking out my window across the bay to the mountains to the sky that opened up like a tube of paint. I loved crunching across the frozen mud in the dark pre-dawn mornings. I loved my students, even though they drove me to exhaustion; if it wouldn’t kill me, I’d have exhausted myself all over again for them.

I loved the endless day, endless night, come to set your heart alight. I loved the endless night, endless day, come to steal your soul away.

I was a candle burning out, but it smelled so sweet.

I wanted to rediscover what it was to enjoy reading. To enjoy writing. To be with my family. But now, it will be altered; it will be as I choose it.

What now?

Now, I am relearning and learning anew what it is to teach, to read, to write. I am studying in the NEOMFA creative writing program, with a focus in poetry, though I sleep around with fiction often. I am substitute teaching at an elementary school, reminding students how to make letters, numbers, friends. I am igniting little fires; a reading series here, a poem written there and there and everywhere. I am collecting stories into new stories, some short, some long, some new, some old.

I am hoping to revive this corpse of a blog and try and put out some form of writing on this website, whether a poem, a story, or even a piece of fiction in a more frequent manner. My goal here is to participate in the thing of reading; to create it, to facilitate it, to encourage it.

Thank you for waiting for me to come back.

I caught some stars for you.